Frontier Airlines took 2 Hours From Me

Ok, I'm having trouble letting go of my recent flight delay. My new job requires me to travel most weeks. For the bulk of the summer I will be back and forth between Denver and Portland. I am enjoying Denver, sneaking up to the Rockies, starting to explore the downtown, etc. But when it is time to head for Portland, all I can think about is getting home, spending time with my wife, sleeping in my own bed, using the BBQ, walking in my park, heading to the coast. So......... When I show up at the airport and I find my flight home has been delayed, I get a bit irritated. 10 or 15 minutes I can handle, but yesterday it was over 2 hours. 2 hours of wasted, non productive time. Sure I could have pulled out my lap top and sent a few more emails, but my focus was on getting home, enjoying every precious minute I get at home before jumping another plane back to Denver.

To make matters even worse, instead of eating dinner at home I had to shell out a few bucks for dinner in the airport. Getting home at 6:30 pm is dinner with my wife, Arriving at 8:30 pm means me eating in the airport. Say good bye to $10 for a $5 meal. Pulling out of the long term parking I was hit with an additional $10. Seems I stayed just long enough to be considered a 6 day stay instead of 5. With all the added fees for bags, to the new Frontier fee of $1.99 for a can of coke, I am beginning to think there is a better way.

Many industries have a "Fee for Performance" payment system. Why not airlines? My thinking is simple, I pay a fee for an expected service, to be performed as advertised. The airlines advertise via their schedules an expected take off and arrival time. That is what I am paying for. I make my plans on either side of the schedule, based on their published schedule. I am paying for them to meet my expectation. The problem is there is no penalty for the airlines if they fail to meet my expectation. Sure I can take my business elsewhere, but does that cause the airline to think about doing things differently in the future to meet my expectations? The current system does not force them to think about quality in this area. In fact, everything about the airline industry has moved away from customer service to herding people from one airport to the next. They are no longer trying to win customers because they know that for many of us we have no choice but to fly in order to meet deadlines and expectations of our own.

So I make a simple suggestion. For every minute late to the gate, the customer, whose expectation was not met, is returned $1. Hotels comp rooms, restaurants will discount meals, products get returned to stores for refunds, when expectations aren't met. I can not return an airline ticket if it did not meet my expectation, no one offered to comp me my ticket due to my disappointment, even though I will fly each week, at least 10 more round trips, over the rest of the summer. A simple $1 per minute would get them to think about their performance, to really think about how to meet expectations. Not once was I told why there was a 2 hour delay. We all just sat nicely in the airport and waited and waited and waited. At some point a back up plane could have been rolled up to the gate, or some plan B put in place. Plan B seems to be "make the customer wait."

Looking up Frontier's flight 793 from Denver to Portland, shows on average they are 20.83 minutes delayed. Out of 106 flights from January 1 through July 5, they have a 56% on time rate. That is a little bette than 1/2 the time the do it as they planned. If I hit my financial or quality targets only 56% of the time, if I meet customer expectations only 56% of the time, I am out of a job or out of business. I get that there are things outside of their control, but isn't it their job to manage my expectations? As you can tell I am just a little frustrated because I lost 2 hours of my life yesterday, and 6 hours in 4 weeks, flying Frontier (that is both directions - to and from Denver). To bad they are the only airlines flying direct flights in the time frames I need. I obviously need them enough to keep flying despite all my lost hours.

Hoping for a change in the future.

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Wasting Time at the Airport

Walking out to my gate I glanced at the big TV monitors. There it was, Portland - Frontier Airlines - Delayed. And, just like that I realize another hour of my life is gone. It is an hour I will not be able to get back. I can try to make the most of it, but what difference will it make. It is an hour that should have been getting me home, that has gotten away from me. So all I can do is head towards Mesa Verde Bar and Grill in the Denver Airport to grab dinner and a few beers. It could be worse, but I also could be on my way home.

As I sit in the bar I find myself contemplating my situation. It occurs to me that I waste hours all the time. I sleep in, I veg in front of the TV, I get stuck on the internet, I do nothing. I constantly am losing time. Time has a way of getting away from me. Some times I chose to waste time, sometimes I give it away, and some times it is taken away from me, as it is at this moment. All of this makes me wonder what is the value of time. Should I look at it as a valuable resource, one that is limited? Can I do anything to increase time, can I give any of it away, or borrow any form others? I remember bing told as a kid to make wise use of my time. Have I? While the Rolling Stone's sing "Time is on my side," I have to ask if it really is.

Well, I have spent enough time on thinking about time, to pass the time and now need to head towards the gate for loading. Such is time.




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Embracing Getting Older

Life has a funny way of moving on with or without you. Summer is rushing quickly by, kids are growing up, moving out and on, and my age meter seems to be spinning more quickly.

A few weeks back was a milestone birthday, the big 50. In September, I will gain a new role and title, that makes me feel old- "Grandpa." And while I am fighting getting older, and feeling a bit of depression surrounding it all, my wife seems to be getting more excited. As we talked a few weeks back she talked about embracing the changes and the future. Instead I was talking about fighting the changes and the future. Is seems absurd to me that I would try to pretend I am not getting older, but I do. Denial seems to be a great way of dealing with this issue for me, but it leads me only to more frustration. Since my conversation with Darla, I have been trying to "choose," to embrace the inevitable changes. Rather than dread the name Grandpa (or G-Daddy as I would prefer), I want to start getting excited about taking my G-Girl to Disneyland, and out on G-Daddy and G-Girl dates. Seeing life through my kids eyes was one of the funnest things I have experienced, and I get to do it all over again. 50 isn't so bad either, its the new- well its 50, no matter how I spin it. I am continuing to grow, learn and change. What is not to be excited about. My skills are being used in ways I enjoy, I have a job that suits me, and the respect of those I train and develop.

The aches and pains that last a little longer after a day of staining the deck, or my inability to stay up all night and function the next day, I can't deny. But, they don't have to stop me. Looks like it is time for me to embrace the future and enjoy the process. Just so hard to shake the memory that I considered my my and dad old when they were 36. To all my 50 year old high school friends, here's to an even better 50 more.


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A Quote to Get You Going

Some times it is tough for me to get out of bed to start my day. I would rather just lay back and dream about what life could be, where I could go, what I could do? I sometimes spend hours doing just that. But a quote like the one above by Zig Ziglar brings it all back into perspective. I can day dream, plan, and talk all day long, but if I don't "Start," it is all a waste of time. I aspire to be Great, that is the destination, not the requirement to step to the starting line.

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And Then He Was Gone

The earth did not shake, there was no trumpet sound, no sirens, lights, or whistles. He simply breathed his last breath and was gone. Surrounded by his wife and daughters he slipped from this world into the next. He didn't have a suitcase, he didn't ship any of his items ahead, he didn't leave a forwarding address, although we think we know where he might make his new residents. You would think a life of generosity, of hard work, of giving of yourself, would deserve some kind of send off, some celebration, some type of closure. Instead it appears the end is more of a fading light after sunset, the sound of a train whistle growing more faint as it gets farther away. In a moment he was gone and we were left in the room realizing that something significant had just occurred.

The calls are being made, the emails sent, his friends and family are being told, that he is no longer with us. There will be a gathering, a time to remember, to share, to miss. How sad that he will not be there to hear about the difference he made in peoples lives, the lessons he taught his grand kids, the smiles he put on peoples faces. Did people tell him these things while he was here. Does anyone know how many soccer games he sat through, how many concerts he sang in, how many tickets he got in his first fast car? We used to think he was foolish with all the money he donated to different causes, but do we know the impact that had on the lives of others?
Does anyone really know how significant and meaningful he was in the lives of those he came in contact with? Did he know?

In the end, I hope he felt satisfied with how he lived life, that he knew he left a mark on those he came in contact with. That he saw the difference his life made. I hope he was able to take memories with him, an understanding of the part he played in life, and the love of his wife and daughters. We all have our thoughts about what comes next, but what is certain is that this man was here, that he made a difference, and that we will remember him.

My new goal is to let people know the difference they are making, the joy they bring, the love they spread. I want them to know before they fade out or grow faint. We owe each other that much. Wish I would have done a better job of it




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Continuing to Learn

It is Saturday afternoon, and I am enjoying my favorite past time. Reading about things that interest me while smoking a cigar. Many who know me would assume it is the cigar that I enjoy most, but it truly is learning and expanding my knowledge about things that matter that excites me most. While I sit on my patio in 70 degree weather, I am catching up on news, sports, and the many other topics that find their way to my Ipad. Today, the article that has me thinking the most is 10 Lessons I Learned from the End of My Marriage by Lisa Arends.

Before you all make assumptions, I am not thinking of ending my marriage. I was not searching the Internet for articles on Divorce (It was actually Marriage that I was searching on). Rather, with Darla and I learning how to live together, apart, I was looking for insight that could help us stay more connected, more intimate, despite the introduction of miles. I have been wondering what changes will need to occur in my marriage in order for it to become stronger as life changes, careers progress, and we both continue to grow both individually and together. Some of the lessons Lisa talks about are very valuable.

Happiness is My Choice. Lisa talked about telling her husband that "He made her happy." She meant this as a way to tell him how important he was to her. However, she realized, that she was in charge of her own happiness, and that it was unfair to place that burden on her husband. I am a lot like Lisa. I often look to Darla to be the source of my happiness rather than take responsibility for my own. As a result I find myself sitting around waiting for Darla, thinking that a relationship means spending as much time as possible together. I can find myself feeling hurt when Darla makes choices to spend time with her friends or if her plans don't ALWAYS include me. How has a healthier view? It is not fair that I put Darla in a place of being responsible for my happiness. As I am away from home, I have had to do this for myself. And, when I come back home, it is sticking. This is such an important lesson, and one that I need to teach my kids and everyone else who struggles with this.

"Knew" is not the same as "Know". What I took away from this simple point is that we are all changing and growing. My spouse is not the same person she was at 13 when we met, at 20 when we married, at 46 when our oldest got married, or at 50 as I write this. I need to continue to work on getting to know my wife, and letting her know me. We are not the same and it only makes sense that our relationship is growing and changing as well. How awesome to think that our relationship is not stagnant. How sad to think that I often fight to keep it from changing instead of enjoying and anticipating what is unfolding as something different and exciting.

Life is not a Waiting Room. I would like to think that I live in the here and now, enjoying each moment. But I have to admit that I probably spend more time saving, planning, working towards the future. As a result I am missing out on what can be enjoyed each day. I don't want to miss out on life with Darla, by preparing to live life tomorrow. We have no idea of what tomorrow may bring. I need to make the best of today, and that means enjoying both with Darla and when Darla is not with me (and she usually is not with me when I am enjoying a cigar - imagine that).

Holding is out of Love; Clinging is out of Fear. I have been a clinger I am afraid. I can hear Darla telling me that sometimes I am suffocating her. I story it that I want to spend time with her, to be connected, but if I am truly honest, it is because I fear that she might grow tired of me, that I might not be enough for her, that the reason she is pursuing her doctorate is because I can not stimulate her thinking the way she needs. Love truly is about holding the relationship and Darla with an open hand, allowing her to grow and pursue her passions as she allows me to do the same. It is about seeing relationship as something that grows stronger by letting it expand rather than trying to control its direction and outcome.

So, all this to say, I am learning. I am learning more about me than about our relationship. I am seeing at almost 50, I still have a lot to learn. Lisa's article is just another reminder of things I need to work on as I continue to find ways to live my life and my relationship with Darla to the fullest. It also helps me not fear Living Together Apart. I am loving the journey.


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End of Life

Today I find myself pondering life and death. It has a way of sneaking into your thoughts when you are sitting bed side, listening to the slowing breaths, of a man you have known for 37 years.

This man gave me my first job, took my back packing, helped me move, painted my homes, and trusted me with his daughter. His life was full of living, being generous, and loving others. It was also full of painful knees, battling Alzheimer's and in the last year, his own frailty. As I sit next to him I wonder if he feels he lived well, if he has any unfinished business? Are there things he would like to do over or do again? Would he have taken a different career path, stayed home more, or maybe less? Did he answer all the questions he had about life, is he ready for what is next? I would ask him but he is no longer talking, not recognizing, only fighting for each breath. We are no longer counting years, months or days, we are counting hours of a man who has impacted those most important to me, each of my children, my wife, and my self. Thank you!


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