Living the Second Half of Life Better than the First.
I'm not sure what happened, or even when it happened, only that something has happened. I have been cruising through life for awhile. And by cruising I don't mean heading to where I want to be really fast, or in a cool car, I mean that I have been moving forward on autopilot. I have been just happy to let things go the way they are going, enjoy it as it unfolds and ride out the bumps as they come along. A few months back, I started thinking about that philosophy and where it had gotten me so far. While some of it wasn't to bad, there were other parts of my life that I was dissatisfied with. Things that were happening that with a little bit of intentionality I could change. As I though about it at that moment I was 8 months from being 48, I was 235+ lbs, drifting in many ways, outside of work not much fun, and wondering if this was the way life was suppose to go. The more I pondered on this, the more I realized I needed to do something about it, I needed to do something different that I was currently doing. Since that time a clear direction has evolved, a road map of sorts. Not so much with destinations, but with goals. The goals are currently very broad, but becoming more defined every day. The road map only takes me two and a half years down the road. It takes be to June 4th, 20213. That is the day I turn 50, half a century, 5 decades of life. Funny thing is rather than roll over and let life run its course, I am determined to hit my 50's, better in every way, than I hit my 30's. I am looking to enter my 50's in better shape relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, than I hit my 30's. As lofty a goal as that sounds, I am already moving towards realizing that goal. I was more or less a couch potato, so just getting up and doing something lets me hit my 50's ahead of the game. I am working through all of the Spiritual hangups that I have been carrying around forever, Darla and I are in an exciting place in our relationship (as a result of some focused attention), and emotionally I am figuring myself, my needs, and my wants out. The key in all of this is putting some things in place that I can sustain throughout the rest of my life. Since coming to this focus, I have lost 26 pounds, with 35 to go. I have been working out 6 days a week, learning to eat, continuing to ask myself tough questions, and identifying other areas in my life I need to work on. I am coming to believe that barring any huge health set backs, it is possible to have a better back end of life than front end. Not sure that I'll ever be as thin, or fast as I was at 18, but I can sure be more fit, and use what I have in a much better way. I'll write a follow up to this when I turn 65.
From Good to Poor
Two weeks ago I was sitting in the office of my $90 an hour best friend, telling him how well things were currently going. My marriage was going well, work was good, and I felt like I was figuring myself out more than ever before. Then something happened. I don't know what, maybe a change in the weather, the planets came out of alignment, who knows. My relationships went from smooth sailing to rough seas, I missed the super bowl, work went sideways, and I don't know what happened. Funny how you can feel on top of the world, and then in a moment, everything changes. So my goal at the moment is to keep doing the things for me I need to do. Second, figure out what I need for me and don't just let life happen to me. It is Saturday, one week since the sun went dark. Maybe over the next few days it will come out again and shine like it should. That is what is going on inside my head as I take a look inward.
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