Life Stops When the Ducks Play

Go Oregon


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Little Things

Sometimes it's the little things that mean the most. A simple smile, a kiss on the neck, a text message from one of your kids, an excited phone call, can make all the difference. These have all happened to me this last week, a friend, my wife, my son and my daughter. They don't know what those simple little things did to lift my spirits, let me know I matter, to let me see I am loved. But each of these little things made a profound difference on me. I hope you experience a simple thing today, it is something to look forward to.


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Preparing to Live Well

One things is for sure, life keeps happening, with or without our permission.

Most of life we can't control. What I can control is how I how i prepare for life, and how I respond to it. Everyday I work with people who have been thrown a curve ball related to their health and finances. Some seem to weather it well and continue living despite what they have encountered. These people did some internal work before life struck a blow and weren't rocked by the change of their situation. Others, seem surprised by their change in circumstance, and are unable to cope. Depression, bitterness, hopelessness, seem to follow.

I obviously know how I want to respond. I guess that means I need to start the prep work so I can handle what life throws at me, be it health, finances, work, relationships, etc... Making my choice now for a better tomorrow.


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Playing the Game - Buying A Car

We've done it! Darla and i have finally accomplished our goal of paying off our cars. It feels great to not have a payment, to know you are capable of doing what you set out to do. So how do we want to celebrate? By buying a car of course.

Two nights ago Darla and I were driving past car lots in Beaverton when we drove past a shinny, gray, convertible. If you have read any of my past blogs you know I have always wanted a Circle Car. A Circle car is of course a car with a circle emblem. Audi's, BMW's, Mercedes are all circle cars. We circled back to see what it was. I have been secretly wanting a Mercedes SLK350 convertible, or an Audi convertible. What we saw was something I had not considered. Pulling into the lot I came face to face with a Nissan 350Z convertible roadster. It was used, but i was definitely intrigued. To my surprise Nissan is a circle car. I walked around it once, I walked around again. The lines of the car were beautiful. Darla, smiling at me said, you have to drive it. As I was about to go in, the sales guy came out, and that is when the game began.

Abdul came towards me with a huge smile, "You like, it's a beauty." he sensed he had a fish on the line, and that fish was me. The car had only just gotten to the lot a few days before, it was sure to go fast. He went to get the keys and Darla parked our car. As Darla got in the 350Z there were the comments on how much nicer the car looked with her in it. I of course was thankful it was only a two seater and only Darla and I could fit. As I turned the key the engine roared to life. Abdul said something about a high performance package and we drove off. Wow, wind in my hair, power in my hands, and smile on my face. We zipped around turns, exploded off the line with each green light, then we started to recognize the rattles and squeaks that come with a used car. Returning to the lot I explained to Abdul that while I liked it, this was not the car. He then smiled even bigger and said he had two brand new ones out back that were only $3000 more. Like lambs to the slaughter we followed. It was white with a black top. 6 speed automatic, a 370Z convertible. This was a driving experience. Darla and I giggled as we drove. I envisioned a race track as I worked through the gears. No rattles, no squeaks, this could be it. Back to the lot, and it was time to be reeled in.

Abdul was waiting, he could tell "we liked." As we walked back in, he said, "which do you like better, the black or the white?" "The white one of course," came rolling of my lips. "Cash, or do you want me to finance for you?" He was good, leading me right down the path towards a close. I new the next question would be, how can we help you take this car home tonight, and on cue, that is what came out of Abdul's mouth. I gave him my, this is the first stop, we weren't planning tonight response, and let him know I was interested in what it would cost me monthly. Yep, I gave away the first point. Abdul now knows I don't care how much the car costs, only what the payment will be. And, Abdul zeros in, "What are you hoping for?" My reply was the simple, not sure just wanting a ball park. We gave him the stuff he needed and then he brought out Corry, the finance guy.

If Abdul was good, Corry was better. He was smooth and calculating. He didn't mind those long periods of silence designed to make you sweat and give in. He once again started to work on our monthly range, and got us to bite. He wasn't sure if he could swing it but he would try. He came back with numbers and term lengths. Darla was firm, she was set on the amount and no more than 72 months. Corry left to talk to the unseen manager to see what he could do. Back again, but still not at our spot. It was then that we noticed we were working with a higher price for the car then the one Abdul quoted. We were told that was a special price that ended on July 31, we just missed it, bummer. He went to see once again if they could flex, and again came back a little closer. Would we go with 78, or 80 month terms? We were only $24 per month off that way. We said no, and that we would be more excited to be $24 off in our favor. We got up, thanked them for their time, and headed back to the car.

Yesterday morning I got on line and was surprised to see the very car, listed at the price Abdul originally gave us. I sent a quick email to Abdul and told him how close we had been, and if the had used the right starting price we would have bought last night. I also said but since the had been willing to drop $5k off the price we were negotiating last night I might come in for a $4k reduction off the current price. Last night, Scott the sales manager left me a message stating he had good news. I'll call today to see what the news is. What a Game.



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A Thought for Today

“There’s no next time. It’s now or never.”


Came across this quote today, and it got me thinking of the invites I got from my kids this weekend. It was the Portland Brew Festival this weekend, and with older kids, they called and asked if I wanted to go with them. Work was also needing my attention and that is where I ended up going. My logic, there will be plenty of chances to hang with my kids. However, as I read this quote, I am realizing my kids were not asking me to "Go to Brew Festival," they were really saying, "Dad, we want to spend time with you, Dad we saw this event and you came to mind, Dad, we want to invest some of our weekend in you.". I wish I would have read this quote yesterday. I would have gone with them. How cool to be thought of by your kids. I blew it yesterday. Need to change how I think. “There’s no next time. It’s now or never.”


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Deep Thought

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
- Dr Wayne Dyer


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Connection

Over the last few days I have been asking the question, "What is most important to me?" There are lots of things that come to mind, family, health, a good job, friends, being productive, making a difference, to name a few. But as I kept wrestling with that question, I found myself slowly zeroing in on the answer.

This morning I got a phone call from Darla, out at Gonzaga where she is working on her Doctorate. She is only gone two nights at a time (I know some of you say no big deal, as you travel more than that), but her call put a huge smile on my face and set the tone for the entire day. As I got to work, my first meeting was with my department heads. Today was up beat and there was a real sense of team as we talked through issues of life and the tasks for the day. At 1:30 pm, I headed out for a late lunch, and met up with a friend I hadn't seen in 18 years (thank you LinkIn for the reconnect). As we talked about our journey's and our families, I couldn't help but think about the good times of days past. Tonight as I jumped in the care I got a call from Gray (my youngest), he wondered what my plans were, and if I wanted to go out to dinner with Evan and him (yes, I paid but that's beside the point). In addition there were phone calls, conversations, and invitations. As I looked at all these things, I realized that what I desire and value most, is CONNECTION. Connection is why I blog, why I Facebook, why I call my family, and what motivates me to do what I do. For me, to not be connected to others would be my definition of death. Connection is what I live for.

As I think of people I admire, and those I don't, those who are happy and those who aren't, in my thinking it always has to do with connection. I'm not sure if others feel the same, but as I take a deep look inward this is what is true of me. As I keep moving forward in life, the extent of my happiness will not be due to how much I have, or what I make, it has been and will always be based on how connected I feel to others and the world around me. Let's get together soon.


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What's In A Sunset

Tonight I find myself sitting on my back deck. I love it when it starts to cool off, and the clouds reflect the sun as it is setting. The boys are out on a walk, and Darla is again in Spokane. It is nights like this, with a good cigar that your able to take a moment to slow down and reflect, to think, to ponder (never thought I'd use that word in a sentence). With the pressure at work and the speed at which life is moving, I don't do this enough these days.

Having watched the clouds I can't help wonder what my life is reflecting to others. I don't think it has been the pretty colors of a sunset, or the excitement of a good conversation with a friend from days gone by (thanks Marna). I know it isn't the feeling of riding a great wave that people are seeing in me (I haven't gotten wet yet this summer). Instead, I am afraid it has been the tension that comes from working hard but feeling like you aren't accomplishing much, or the sense that there is a lack of balance in life at the moment. Perhaps it is the fear that I am prioritizing the wrong things and that I will soon wake up realizing I missed what is most important. Funny how a sunset can make you think about these kinds of things.

The sun is now gone and the clouds have gone back to drifting slowly into the dark. I do know that I don't want to drift aimlessly, but rather soar with purpose. In the morning I'll have to come back out and look for a bird or airplane to take my thoughts that direction. For now, I'll just contemplate on what I reflect to those around me, and trust that like the sunset, I can put a smile on those around me.



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No Surprise

Look deep inside and often what you see you want to keep hidden. Funny how when you allow others to see in, they aren't surprised because they saw it all along.


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Dreaming Away

Sometimes the battle isn't to lose weight, or to get stronger, sometimes it's about doing your best to stay engaged. To stay engaged in relationship, to stay engaged in the job, to stay in community, to stay with the task. At times I find myself thinking more about change, maybe a new car, a new house, a new place to live. Perhaps it's a new job. The battle is about staying with it at times.

Sure dreaming is good. It can actually help spur on creativity and new ideas. But it can also be dangerous, causing you to check out, to disengage, to loose focus because your focus has shifted. I'm not sure how to fight it, or even if I should. I think it is most important to just acknowledge it and the impact it can have. For me dreaming is part of living. But living also has to do with sticking with it when things get hard or tough. Today however, I am dreaming of the warm beach, of winning the lottery, and of new challenging adventures. Tomorrow, I will be back at work Battling On.


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If it's on the Internet, it isn't private.

If it's on the Internet, it isn't private., a photo by DonkeyHotey on Flickr.

I came across this reminder as I was reading some of my favorite pages. It made me stop and think for a moment about what I put out there for all to read. Once you hit send you no longer have control. With some hesitation here this post comes.

Forty Eiqht, Not That Great

I turned 48 this week. Not a huge big deal except for the fact that I don't want to get older. In fact, if I had it my way I would still be 24. That however isn't going to happen. I am twice as old as I want to be. I am twice as old as my daughter. I am probaMbly closer to the end of my life than I am to the beginning. It is kind of a bummer to think about. So my challenge is to not let this getting older thing ruin the present. It doesn't have to get me down. I need to figure out how to embrace it and continue living and enjoying the moment I am in. So how do I do that? How do I look forward and not back?

I don't really have an answer at the moment, just a sense of where I want to be emotionally. I want to live, to love, to experience it all. to not be stuck in my own muck. To not be hindered by others. I want to break free of all that holds me back and start to run. I think it is possible. If nothing elsGe it is worth pursuing. At the very least I have to admit I am 48 and start there.

How I Spend the Weekend, 3-15-11

Back From The Beach - a Video Blog

Living the Second Half of Life Better than the First.

I'm not sure what happened, or even when it happened, only that something has happened. I have been cruising through life for awhile.  And by cruising I don't mean heading to where I want to be really fast, or in a cool car, I mean that I have been moving forward on autopilot.  I have been just happy to let things go the way they are going, enjoy it as it unfolds and ride out the bumps as they come along.  A few months back, I started thinking about that philosophy and where it had gotten me so far.  While some of it wasn't to bad, there were other parts of my life that I was dissatisfied with.  Things that were happening that with a little bit of intentionality I could change. As I though about it at that moment I was 8 months from being 48, I was 235+ lbs, drifting in many ways, outside of work not much fun, and wondering if this was the way life was suppose to go.  The more I pondered on this, the more I realized I needed to do something about it, I needed to do something different that I was currently doing.  Since that time a clear direction has evolved, a road map of sorts.  Not so much with destinations, but with goals.  The goals are currently very broad, but becoming more defined every day.  The road map only takes me two and a half years down the road.  It takes be to June 4th, 20213.  That is the day I turn 50, half a century, 5 decades of life.  Funny thing is rather than roll over and let life run its course, I am determined to hit my 50's, better in every way, than I hit my 30's.  I am looking to enter my 50's in better shape relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, than I hit my 30's.  As lofty a goal as that sounds, I am already moving towards realizing that goal.  I was more or less a couch potato, so just getting up and doing something lets me hit my 50's ahead of the game.  I am working through all of the Spiritual hangups that I have been carrying around forever, Darla and I are in an exciting place in our relationship (as a result of some focused attention), and emotionally I am figuring myself, my needs, and my wants out.  The key in all of this is putting some things in place that I can sustain throughout the rest of my life.  Since coming to this focus, I have lost 26 pounds, with 35 to go.  I have been working out 6 days a week, learning to eat, continuing to ask myself tough questions, and identifying other areas in my life I need to work on.  I am coming to believe that barring any huge health set backs, it is possible to have a better back end of life than front end.  Not sure that I'll ever be as thin, or fast as I was at 18, but I can sure be more fit, and use what I have in a much better way.  I'll write a follow up to this when I turn 65.  

From Good to Poor

Two weeks ago I was sitting in the office of my $90 an hour best friend, telling him how well things were currently going.  My marriage was going well, work was good, and I felt like I was figuring myself out more than ever before.  Then something happened.  I don't know what, maybe a change in the weather, the planets came out of alignment, who knows.  My relationships went from smooth sailing to rough seas, I missed the super bowl, work went sideways, and I don't know what happened.  Funny how you can feel on top of the world, and then in a moment, everything changes.  So my goal at the moment is to keep doing the things for me I need to do.  Second, figure out what I need for me and don't just let life happen to me.  It is Saturday, one week since the sun went dark.  Maybe over the next few days it will come out again and shine like it should.  That is what is going on inside my head as I take a look inward.

My Star Employee Going to Work for My Friend

Every once in awhile you hire someone who makes a difference not only in the day to day work that has to be done, but personally.  We hired someone not to long ago at my facility who took on every challenge, exceeded all expectations, and drove things to a hire level.  She was constantly looking for more work and increasing challenges.  In addition, she brought life to the building.  She was bubbly, energetic, always smiling, loved to ask how I was doing, etc.  Even though she only worked part time hours, I would find myself waiting for the days she worked because I knew it would brighten my day.

A few weeks back my friend who runs another facilty had a full time opening and my star employee went to interview.  I received a call minutes after they met and he asked if he could keep her.  Everything inside me was crying out NO, she needs to stay here.  But, I also knew that it was in her best interest career wise to move forward.  A few days later, my daughter came into my office and gave me here two week notice and let me know she was moving on to her first "Big Girls Job." 

As a dad, I got to see my daughter through the eyes of my department heads.  They would tell me what a difference she was making, how competent she was in her work, how great it was to have her around.  All I could think of was the dishes she couldn't seem to get done, the unmade bed, her junk scattered everywhere.  My little girl grew up in my eyes over the seven months she worked in my facility.  I see her differently today than I would have if she never worked for me.  I wish her well and know she will do an awesome job for my friend.  My loss is definitely his gain.

Meaningless Tasks and Deep Thoughts

I am looking at the tasks that lay in front of me.  Take out the Christmas Tree, take down the outside Christmas Lights, do the grocery shopping, clean the bathroom, start the laundry.  As I contemplate this list of chores (and yes I mean chores) I have to to wonder why!  Why did we go to the trouble of hunting for a tree, cutting it down, tying it to the car, putting lights on it, just to take it down, carry it out, and throw it away?  Why did we hang the outside lights if we were only going to take them down a month later? Why do we use the bathroom in our bedroom (the one I have to clean) when we have three bathrooms in our house? Couldn't we all just use one?  Yes- grocery shopping and laundry make some sense to me, but the rest surely need to be thought through.  My life could be so much more simple if we just eliminated some of the needless things we do. 

All this thinking makes me question how smart are we really?  We send up space shuttles in machines that can sustain incredible heat and speed, yet I still have to stain my back deck every year to protect it from the weather.  We genetically alter plants to produce more and better, but we can't alter them to help us stay at our proper weight.  We create clothes that don't wrinkle, won't stain, stretch, keep their color.  Why not clothes that always are in fashion and hang themselves up?  With all of our great technology we still sweep, vacuum and cook.  I mow the lawn when I am sure we could make grass that only grows to a certain height.  The list goes on.

Obviously today my thoughts are about easing life.  The work I would like to be focusing on today would be deepening the relationship I have with my wife.  A nice walk or hike, a quiet dinner, a sunset.  That is what I would like to be working on, not a list of chores and things that must get done before I go back to work for another week. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.