Time away at Rockaway
It’s the middle of the week and back in Portland is a meeting that I am missing. Missing is actually the wrong word because that would imply that I wish I was there instead of where I am, and I much prefer where I currently am sitting. Out the window it is lightly raining making everything damp with the occasional dripping off the patio hand rail that surrounds the deck in front of our small bungalow. The beach grass is bending in the wind, and the sand has no one walking on it as far as you can see. Darla lies napping in the big chair, enjoying the need to do nothing but relax and slow down.
Stormy weather at the beach is good. It invites you to take it easy. No need to feel like you have to walk the beach or throw a stick for Surf the Wonder Dog. Storm waves don’t call me to put on a wet suit and pull out the board, nor did I even bring them along on this trip. My purpose over the next few days is to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. I will sleep and nap, not because the clock, or light outside says its time, but because my body is desiring it. I will eat when I feel a bit hungry, not because it is lunch time. I will walk on the beach as I feel like enjoying the cool wind in my face and listening to the sound of the waves. I have turned off my phones ability to get email (although, I can still get calls if the world must find me), and am resisting the urge to check. I am on vacation and I’ll be damned if anyone is going to rob me of this time.
We are back at the same place we came at the beginning of the summer. The blue chairs are still sitting out at the edge of the small bluff, where you can overlook the sand, waves, and twin haystack rocks. But while the chairs have not moved from the summer, the scenery is very different. The sky is gray, not blue, the waves are stormy not sparkling in the sun, the sand is hard and crunchy, not the summer soft. While looking at the landscape I also find myself looking at me, and I realize that while I am the same person, coming back to the same place, I am somehow different as well. I am a little more mellow than I was six or seven months ago. I feel a bit more content. I am able to relax and enjoy where I am at in life, and the process I am in of understanding my self better. The beach, this beach, is a reminder that while places and people are the same, all things are constantly changing. me included. To fight against that is like fighting the ocean tide. You can’t do it. So for the next few days I will enjoy watching the birds, walking the dog, talking with Darla, and reflecting on my life. And, as a result, I will return home a little more aware of who I am and what I need. Where I am in life, and where I want to continue going. And, a whole lot better because of it.
There will be more meetings to go to next week, next month, next year. There will be plenty of emails to read when I turn the phone back on, or log in on the computer. But for now, I will enjoy the moment that I am in, watching the waves, wind and rain, and being thankful for some time to slow
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