As I sit on the couch looking outside the window, the rain is once again pouring down. Its not that surprising, after all this is Portland and rain is the norm. What makes today different isn’t the fact that I am taking a day off, or that Darla and I are both relaxing while drinking coffee and typing on our key boards, its the fact that today is the 21st birthday of my son Evan. He will spend today making beer with Derek, legally drinking in a bar with friends, and enjoying his first adult New Years.
He is no longer the little boy who used to run full speed in circles, without noticing that each loop brought his head closer to the picnic table. He also is no longer the the kid leaning back on the slide laughing before slipping and tumbling head first down the stairs. He is no longer that child being expelled from junior high for sneaking a sip of alcohol in the boys bathroom, or the only one who in anger would leave a left handed dent in the bonus room wall. Today he is the man who did all those things and has continued to learn, grow, and mature through them and countless other stories just like them.
Today, Evan is the responsible one who is figuring life out, is concerned with his impact on the world and how he uses its many resources. He is the explorer who is enjoying the outdoors and what he can learn about himself, others and life, while hiking, climbing, planting, and anything else he can do outside. He is the student who is challenging his mind while considering new ideas and thoughts and ways of being. He is the reader and thinker, enjoying a new book or engaging in a deep conversation. He is the lover of people and life, helping his dad hang Christmas lights, playing games with his brothers, sharing rides with his sister, taking walks with his mom, writing music or hanging with friends. He is the leader who shares what is important to him and invites/enlists, others to join him. Today marks a rite of passage. Nothing much really changes, while at the same time the entire world seems to open up to you. Evan may be ready to take on the world, I’m just not sure if the world is ready to take on Evan.
As a Dad, you child turning 21 is bitter sweet. You are excited for him, you wish him all the experiences you have had and all those that you didn’t. You anxiously await seeing what path he will chose in life and how he will manage its many complexities. You also realize that your role in his life is changing, you are no longer the teacher or the coach, you become the bystander, cheering and encouraging from the sidelines as he runs his own race. You wonder if you will be needed anymore and if so, will you be able to deliver what is sought. You realize that you are getting older and it is now your child, becoming a man, who along with others like him, will be changing the future. And, while you think about these things you realize you are smiling, because all is as it should be.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVAN
Love Dad
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