Good Friends

Over the last few months I have been thinking a lot about friends and friendship.  It seems that everywhere I look people are hanging out with friends, enjoying time together, laughing, connecting, sharing.  That is everyone but me.  I seem to be trying to figure out how to make friends, where to find them, how to be one.  Many of you have heard me talk about my $90 an hour best friend.  I don’t want to discount that it any way.  He listens to everything I say, he asks the tough questions, than he says times up, takes my $90 an hour, and says, “See you next week.”  I leave feeling better, he leaves with a little more cash.
There are the life long friends, the work friends, the superficial – good time friends.  Some friends are deep, others make you laugh, some seem to really care about you, and others are there because of what they can get. As I have been thinking about this, I realize that I do have friends, and lots of them.  They fit in all the categories. Some live close and others live far.  Some you long to spend time with and others you just need a few minutes from time to time. Friends fill a need deep within my soul.  Its a need to be known, a need to be liked, a need to be pursued, a need to feel that you matter to someone other than yourself. I need those kinds of friends.
Maybe it is just the time of life I am in that has me contemplating these types of things.  Maybe it is reconnecting with old friends through Face Book – not sure that sharing what I am doing everyday is really developing those friendships again, but its a start, that has me wondering about what type of friend I was, or am.
Last week Darla and I headed to Las Vegas.  It wasn’t to gamble or party, or hit the shows, it was to reconnect with some of the most important people in our lives. The friends that have lived the tough, ugly stuff, with us.  The ones that have stood with you when life was at its best and when it was at its worst.  The ones that talk you down from the ledge before you jump, not by yelling at you from the ground, but by standing next to you, willing to jump with you if that’s what you decide to do. We have all walked through kid issues, marriage issues, job issues, tough decisions, and the rawness of life together.  These are the down and dirty, deep friends.  The friends that don’t feel the need to look their best, because they know you’ve seen them at their worst.  The kind you can be real with, your true self, if you choose to be.  Sure we danced, we drank, we hot tubed, we ate, we laughed, and took pictures (I have been asked not to post on Face Book – I will honor the request but I still don’t agree).  But what was most memorable was the reconnecting.  In a sense it was recommitting to one another, to be there through the next part of our lives.  To be a phone call away if needed, to keep asking tough questions and sharing the hard things.  In Vegas terms, it was a chance for us to go “All In,” with each other, and in many ways we did.  I am sure things were shared during the weekend that don’t get shared with many others in our lives.  To you who I spent a weekend in Vegas with, thanks for letting me be me.  For those of you who weren’t there, I know why I ask the questions about friends, and often wonder if I have any.  It is because people like the ones I spent time with in Vegas are rare.
But they aren’t my only friends, and I need to realize that.  There is the invite for a beer, the phone call to see how I am doing during a tough week, the voice message that starts off “Hi Handsome.” There is the text message that brightens up the day, and the wall post that reminds you that someone is thinking about you.  Thanks you guys, your awesome.  I need you all.  It is great to wake up this morning and realize I have many, many, many, awesome friends.  Each on of you is important and has impacted me in some way.  Thanks for being my friend.