At this moment I sit on a small deck looking down the valley at snow covered peaks and green pine, The sky is bright blue and cloudless. A Cuban Cigar is giving off a favorite aroma of mine. My muscles are revealing their age after two days of incredible skiing down steep terrain, navigating a few bowls, and following Darla off trail. There is a smile on my face as I think about what a great time this has been of reconnecting to things that matter, like the beauty that surrounds me, times of relaxation, and the love of that most special person in my life. Today the things that await me back home don’t seem to matter all that much (except for five other people who share my last name).
The most pressing things at the moment are how to finish the remaining food in the fridge, what time to take a walk, where to take go to take some creative pictures that might someday be mounted and hung on a wall, and if I should pick up a book and read a little. This is our wind down day, a few remaining hours until we return to what has become our busy lives.
I’ve been trying to think of how I will describe our time to those that ask. But how do you describe a sense of inner peace, a feeling of re-connectedness to yourself? I could talk about the things we did, or the conversations had, the warmth of the sunshine as we rode the lifts, or the feeling of the cold on my face after falling in deep snow. How do you explain laughing and smiling, and the fun of holding hands. Would it make sense to anyone hearing me talk about how being with Darla feels like it did when I first met her and yet at the same time seems so much deeper and richer. Would people understand that even though youth is all around me on the ski slopes and in the bars, I some how like being who I am at 46 more than who I was at 26. Maybe the best way to describe it is just to say, “It was better than awesome.”
The one question I will leave here with is – Why? Why don’t I do this more often? Why is my loyalty more to my job than to myself and to the relationships that matter to me? Why don’t I pursue the experiences, feelings, and thoughts I have had this last week, on a regular basis? It seems that I have a habit of letting things that don’t matter crowd out things that do. So heading back home, that is my new challenge, to keep things prioritized as they should be. To keep my vacation going, or at least the things that I am learning, even when I am no longer on one.
I love how getting away can bring things into focus. It has been a great vacation. I need to start planning the next one.
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