At This Moment In Time

I find myself once again on my back deck.  Derek and Evan are playing guitar, getting ready to play at a coffee house tomorrow night.  When they play I experience the joy and pain of their lyrics knowing that I have lived, or watched them live,much of their words with them.  As I listen I find that at this moment in time I am content.

As I listen to them I am also reflecting on my last week at work. There have been times recently I have wondered if I can really turn the facility I am in around.  I have wondered if I can lead.  I know my goals and expectations for myself are high, but I also know that those who entrust their loved ones to me deserve nothing less. This last week we were involved in our annual state regulatory survey, our report card and an outside look at all of our systems, delivery systems, and ultimately the care we give. Yesterday we found that out of 500 regulations that we are evaluated on in 15 areas, we cleared 498 of the regulations and 14 areas.  This places us among the top skilled and long term care facilities in Oregon. Many of my concerns about my own abilities have been answered.  As I reflect I find that at this moment in time I am content.

My mind wanders back over the last year of family and marriage. I recognize that we have been through a great deal of pain and hurt, confusion, questioning, growing, and figuring life out.  After 26 years we should be experts but instead we find we have many more questions that need answering.  We also have had much laughing, connecting in new ways, and times of standing strong together. As my mind wanders I find that at this moment in time I am content.

Sure the house needs painting, our car has been at the mechanics for two weeks with a blown engine, my neighbor wants us to cut down our favorite tree because of needles, Derek is getting married in a month and a half, and Katee graduates in two weeks. There is much I need to work on in my personal and professional life, and in my marriage, but at this moment in time I am content.

So for the next few moments, or maybe a little longer, I am going to sit here on my back deck and enjoy the fact that in the midst of a life filled with constant pressure, continual change, a future that can’t be read, I am content.  I hope those that read this can find those moments of contentment in the midst of all they face as well.