For a Few More Moments

The sounds of morning are all around me.  The heater is blowing through the vents, an alarm rings somewhere upstairs and is being ignored, the fridge is humming across the kitchen, and Surfs long nails click on the hardwood floor as he paces waiting for someone to feed him.  Outside I can hear birds chirping, I see the squirrels playing on the fence, and I am amazed by the leaves that have overnight appeared on my favorite tree.  I wonder as I sit on the couch, sipping my Americano, why am I in such a hurry to get to work?  What awaits me that someone else can’t deal with. How important is it that I show up right on time, I never leave on time? 
Morning is a time for me to gather my thoughts, run through my schedule, psych myself up, it is a time to center.  It is also a time to take a few last deep breaths, to relax and enjoy a few more unpressured minutes.  I fight the urge to look at the email piling up on my BlackBerry, to flip open the laptop and check the days labor report, to call the Director of Nursing to make sure we have no pressing care issues.  Those things will all be there is 20 minutes.  Right now I am going to enjoy the morning, to smell the coffee, to smile at nothing, for a few more moments. 
I have again been thinking about how to control the pace of life, rather than letting it control me.  I have definitely not been in control these last weeks, or have I?  I determine how much focus to give certain areas.  I decide how much time to spend. I am not being forced to live life the way I do.  I have values, goals, and yes even fears, that guide the decision process I go through, but in the end they are my decision.  Pace has something to do with my enjoyment of life, my ability to see the simple things and not miss them along the way.  Pace affects the depth of my relationships and their richness. If pace has such an impact on life, I need to determine how to master the pace at which I live life.  So for now, I am going to enjoy my morning, for a few more moments.

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